This way of working with and alongside children works well.....

The Key To Your Child’s Heart (7 Ways It Works)

POSTED BY JANET ON NOV 14TH, 2011

Write this word on your hand. It’s a magical way to connect with a child of any age, can ease tears and tantrums and even prevent them.  It’s a simple but surprisingly challenging thing to do, particularly tough to remember in the heat the moment…

Acknowledge.

Before you tell your child that it’s time to leave the park, or remind him that the really cool truck he’s examining has to stay at the store, acknowledge his point of view. Acknowledge your child’s feelings and wishes, even if they seem ridiculous, irrational, self-centered or wrong. This is not the same as agreeing, and is definitely not indulgent or allowing an undesirable behavior.

Acknowledging isn’t condoning our child’s actions; it’s validating the feelings behind them. It’s a simple, profound way to reflect our child’s experience and inner self. It demonstrates our understanding and acceptance. It sends a powerful, affirming message… Every thought, desire, feeling — every expression of your mind, body and heart — is perfectly acceptable, appropriate and lovable.

Acknowledging is simple, but it isn’t easy. It’s counter-intuitive for most of us, even when we’ve done it thousands of times. Won’t acknowledging our child’s wishes make matters worse? Won’t saying “I know how much you want an ice cream cone like the one your friend has and it does look yummy, but we won’t be having dessert until later” make our toddler hold on to the idea longer, cry harder? Wouldn’t it be better to dismiss or downplay the child’s feelings,distract, redirect or say:”Oh, sweetie, not now”?

Our fears about an honest acknowledgement of the situation “making things worse” are almost always unfounded. Feeling heard and understood allows children to release the feelings, let go and move on. Here are more reasons that acknowledging our child’s truth is worth the conscious effort it takes…

1. Acknowledging can stop tears and tantrums in their tracks.

I have witnessed this many, many times. Whether a child is upset about an injury, a disagreement with another child or anger over a conflict with a parent, acknowledging to the child what happened or that he is hurt, frustrated or angry can miraculously ease the pain. Feeling understood is a powerful thing.

2.Acknowledging, instead of judging or “fixing”, fosters trust and encourages children to keep sharing their feelings.

Parents and caregivers have an enormous influence, and their responses have an impact on young children. If, for example, we try to calm children by assuring them that there’s no need to be upset or worried about something that’s troubling them, they may become less inclined to express their feelings. If our goal is our child’s emotional health and keeping the door of communication open – just acknowledging is the best policy. “Daddy left and you are sad.”

I was reminded of this recently when one of my teenage daughters shared her anger and heartbreak over a long time best friend’s lies and betrayal. How hard it was not tell her that this friend is flawed and that my daughter deserves so much better!  How hard it was to just listen and acknowledge the hurt and disappointment. As painful as this experience was for me, I treasure it, because my daughter trusted me with her innermost feelings. I’ll do all in my power to encourage her to share with me again. (My daughter ended up resuming her relationship with her long adored friend, having noted her limitations, and I was so glad I held my tongue.)

3. Acknowledging informs, encourages language development and emotional intelligence.

Children gain clarity about their feelings and desires when we verbally reflect them. But don’t state the feeling unless you’re sure. It’s safer to use the words “upset” or “bothered” rather than jumping to “scared”, “angry”, etc. When in doubt, you might ask, “Did it make you mad when Joey wouldn’t let you use his blocks?” “Did the dog’s bark frighten you or just surprise you?”

An added benefit: talking to babies, toddlers, children of all ages about these “real things” happening to them is the most powerful, meaningful and natural way for them to learn language.

4. Acknowledging illuminates, helps us understand and empathize.

To state our child’s point of view, we have to first see it, so acknowledging helps to give us clarity.  When we say, “You want me to keep playing this fun game with you, but I’m too tired”, we are encouraged to empathize with our child’s point-of-view (and he ours).

Acknowledging the situation and asking questions (especially when we don’t know the reason our child is upset) can help us to unravel the mystery. “You’re upset and look uncomfortable. You just ate, your diaper is dry. Maybe you need to burp? Okay, I’m going to pick you up.”

5. Acknowledging struggles might be all the encouragement your child needs to carry on.

This is another scenario in which a simple acknowledgement can work like magic. Rather than saying, “you can do it!”, which can create pressure and set the child up to believe he disappoints us, try saying, “You are working very hard, and you’re making progress. That is tough to do. It’s frustrating, isn’t it?”

6. Acknowledgements instead of praise help children stay inner-directed.

This is as simple as containing our impulse to cheer loudly or say “good job!”, and instead smiling and reflecting, “You pulled the plastic beads apart. That was really hard.”

“Let your child’s inner joy be self-motivating. You can smile and express your genuine feelings but should refrain from giving excessive compliments, clapping your hands, and making a big fuss. If you do this, your child starts seeking satisfaction from external sources. She can get hooked on praise, becoming a performer seeking applause instead of an explorer. Praise also disrupts and interrupts a child’s learning process. She stops what she’s doing and focuses on you, sometimes not returning to the activity.” –Magda Gerber, Your Self-Confident Baby

7. Acknowledging proves that we are paying attention, makes a child feel understood, accepted, deeply loved and supported.

Could there be any better reason to give it a try?

“People will forget what you said; People will forget what you did. 
But people will never forget how you made them feel.” -Maya Angelou

“We all need someone who understands.” –Magda Gerber

 I share more about respectful care and emotional health in
Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting

http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/11/the-key-to-your-childs-heart-7-ways-it-works/

Every child deserves an equitable chance at success in education....

 This statement from the association........
Last Wednesday, the Minister of Education announced additional funding for special education – to schools.
This is appalling given the extensive issues facing many babies and young children and the ongoing concerns expressed by early childhood educators at the lack of special education support. Below is a media release from NZK. You may want to add this to your kindergarten newsletters or Facebook pages.
NZ Kindergartens welcomes the Minister of Education’s announcement today of additional funding to support children with additional learning needs in schools but questions why no extra funding has been allocated for children in early childhood education (ECE) services.
“It is false economy to only increase funding to schools when the research says early intervention is critical for children to experience success during their school years” says NZ Kindergartens Chief Executive Clare Wells.
“The Ministry of Education says between 80,000 and 100,000 children and young people receive some form of special educa-tion support each year. That is about one child in ten, which equates to around 20,000 children in ECE in every year.” said Clare Wells. “All these children go on to school. Why would you wait until they start school to provide extra support?”
Understanding and progressing children’s learning is central to the role of qualified teachers in kindergartens. “Learning diffi-culties are identified as soon as the child starts kindergarten and often before that. Adequate additional support needs to be available straight away.” Clare Wells says.
A 2015 survey of kindergartens found that 9 percent of children attending the kindergartens surveyed needed extra support to gain the same benefits of participating in ECE as their peers. Sixty-five percent of their teachers said there was not suffi-cient education support worker funding available to meet children’s needs.
A 2011 Education Review Office report on inclusive education in ECE recommended the ministry review the current provision of education support workers.
“The current funding allocation for special education support in ECE is not working for children, their whānau or their teach-ers. Despite their own evidence and advice, the ministry and the government continue to ignore the need for more funding to support young children with special education needs” said Clare Wells. “We need to turn that around if we are serious about making sure every child can succeed in education.”

QUALITY EARLY CHILDHOOD EDUCATION PISA RESULTS

QUALITY EARLY CHILDHOOD EDUCATION
PISA RESULTS
Early childhood education helps overcome the effects of poverty on maths results.
Children living in poverty in New Zealand are more than six times more likely to under achieve in maths than well-off children, a new report from the OECD says.
The report, "Low-Performing Students - Why They Fall Behind and How To Help Them Succeed" found the disadvantage of poverty was made even worse by a lack of early childhood education.
While poverty is the most significant factor in achieving in maths, the report says taking part in early childhood education for at least a year is also significant. Children who miss out on ECE are three times as likely to fail at maths.
The report is based on the results of tests of 15-year-olds known as PISA (the Programme for International Student Assessment).
New Zealand’s results were above average, but have fallen behind since the last assessment, and inequality had worsened.
The report said poor performers tended to do less homework, have less perseverance and motivation, and were more likely to skip classes than higher achievers.
New Zealand had stronger than average links between socio-economic status and low achievement, but it did not have more low-achievers than most other developed countries.
The report recommends that countries ensure schools were supportive but also demanding, and provide under-achievers with remedial teaching as soon as possible. Ensuring children from diverse backgrounds are attending the same schools helps lift lift achievement, the OECD's analysis shows.

Ponderings on who children are:

This from a blog I like to follow on occasion ( Educational Leadership Project ) … keeping up with the movers and shakers leading professional development for trained and registered teachers for a long time in New Zealand… this was interesting ( below)


“ Notes on an unhurried Journey.

While getting lost in the internet, as I often do - sometimes only to surface several hours later for a coffee and a time to ponder on the journey, I found these wonderful words by Professor T. Ripaldi :

Notes On An Unhurried Journey
When we adults think of children, there is a simple truth which we ignore; childhood is not preparation for life; childhood is life. A child isn’t getting ready to live; a child is living. The child is constantly confronted with the nagging question: “What are you going to be?” Courageous would be the youngster who, looking the adult squarely in the face, would say, “I’m not going to be anything; I already am.”
We adults would be shocked by such an insolent remark, for we have forgotten, if indeed we ever knew, that a child is an active participating and contributing member of society from the time he is born. Childhood isn’t a time when he is moulded into a human who will then live life; he is a human who is living life. No child will miss the zest and joy of living unless these are denied him by adults who have convinced themselves that childhood is a period of preparation.
How much heartache we would save ourselves if we would recognize the child as a partner with adults in the process of living, rather than always viewing him as an apprentice. How much we would teach each other… adults with the experience and children with the freshness. How full both our lives could be. 
A little child may not lead us, but at least we ought to discuss the trip with him; for, after all, life is his and her journey too"


How true.. and how much like our core curriculum in New Zealand!

Stuart Brown: Play is more than fun

So- here's the backing for evidence for play as a way to understand and tackle life. what next?  trained facilitators of the play, trained assessors of how it's going and planners of 'what next'.... trained and registered teachers.

Learning how to learn...

You might remember that we spent lots of time earlier in the year supporting children's knowledge about how they learned something. It focused primarily in the physical challenge area as the children could recognise their achievements easily.  Our NZ early childhood curriculum has such a emphasis on thinking skills- of  taking an interest, finding ways to get involved, tackling difficulty and persevering. Qualified teaching interactions are always provoking and challenging children to feel successful and confident as they tryout new things and challenge themselves to complete what they start. Our session is designed to allow these interactions to happen.
Here's a well respected and oft cited  researcher and writer in the field of Education talking about 'the power of believing that you can improve' based on her work in the states. It resonates for us as it shows the basic philosophy of early childhood education at work when done well - teaching children to be flexible thinkers and problem solvers....

Learners in a Bicultural Nation

Children need trained teachers at every stage...

In its 17 August edition, the Dominion Post newspaper featured a major opinion piece by actor and journalist Dave Armstrong. In it he talks about the importance of high quality ECE – in particular focusing on the importance of qualified staff:

“…But if you want our ECE centres to educate our very young, it helps if the staff now about how children develop and learn. To do that, specialist training is needed.

Yet despite the Government saying it is committed to quality education, ECE centres are allowed to have up to half their staff untrained…”

Read the full version of Dave Armstrong's article through the following link:

http://www.pressreader.com/new-zealand/the-dominion-post/20150817/281762742991672/TextView

The Value of Social Learning. Another reason for quality curriculum and teaching......and a similar study was done in NZ a while back......

This work sourced from :
http://www.upworthy.com/researchers-studied-kindergarteners-behavior-and-followed-up-19-years-later-here-are-the-findings

Researchers studied kindergarteners' behavior and followed up 19 years later. Here are the findings

"Every parent wants to see their kid get good grades in school. But now we know social success is just as important.
From an early age, we're led to believe our grades and test scores are the key to everything — namely, going to college, getting a job, and finding that glittery path to lifelong happiness and prosperity.
It can be a little stressful.
But a new study shows that when children learn to interact effectively with their peers and control their emotions, it can have an enormous impact on how their adult lives take shape. And according to the study, kids should be spending more time on these skills in school.
Nope, it's not hippie nonsense. It's science.

Researchers measured the social skills of 800 kindergarteners in 1991. Two decades later, they looked them up to see how things turned out.

Kindergarten teachers evaluated the kids with a portion of something called the Social Competence Scale by rating statements like "The child is good at understanding other's feelings" on a handy "Not at all/A little/Moderately well/Well/Very well" scale. The research team used these responses to give each kid a "social competency score," which they then stored in what I assume was a manila folder somewhere for 19 years, or until each kid was 25. At that point, they gathered some basic information about the now-grown-ups and did some fancy statistical stuff to see whether their early social skills held any predictive value.
Here's what they found

1. Those good test scores we covet? They still matter, but maybe not for the reasons we thought.

Traditional thinking says that if a kid gets good grades and test scores, he or she must be really smart, right? After all, there is a proven correlation between having a better GPA in high school and making more money later in life.
But what that test score doesn't tell you is how many times a kid worked with a study partner to crack a tough problem, or went to the teacher for extra help, or resisted the urge to watch TV instead of preparing for a test.
The researchers behind this project wrote, "Success in school involves both social-emotional and cognitive skills, because social interactions, attention, and self-control affect readiness for learning."
That's a fancy way of saying that while some kids may just be flat-out brilliant, most of them need more than just smarts to succeed. Maybe it wouldn't hurt spending a little more time in school teaching kids about the social half of the equation

2. Skills like sharing and cooperating pay off later in life.

We know we need to look beyond GPA and state-mandated testing to figure out which kids are on the right path. That's why the researchers zeroed in so heavily on that social competency score.
What they found probably isn't too surprising: Kids who related well to their peers, handled their emotions better, and were good at resolving problems went on to have more successful lives.
What's surprising is just how strong the correlation was.
An increase of a single point in social competency score showed a child would be 54% more likely to earn a high school diploma, twice as likely to graduate with a college degree, and 46% more likely to have a stable, full-time job at age 25.
The kids who were always stealing toys, breaking things, and having meltdowns? More likely to have run-ins with the law and substance abuse problems.
The study couldn't say for sure that strong or poor social skills directly cause any of these things. But we can say for sure that eating too much glue during arts and crafts definitely doesn't help.

3. Social behaviors can be learned and unlearned — meaning it's never too late to change

The researchers called some of these pro-social behaviors like sharing and cooperating "malleable," or changeable.
Let's face it: Some kids are just never going to be rocket scientists. Turns out there are physical differences in our brains that make learning easier for some people than others. But settling disputes with peers? That's something kids (and adults) can always continue to improve on.
And guess what? For a lot of kids, these behaviors come from their parents. The more you're able to demonstrate positive social traits like warmth and empathy, the better off your kids will be.
So can we all agree to stop yelling at people when they take the parking spot we wanted?

But what does it all mean?

This study has definite limitations, which its researchers happily admit. While it did its best to control for as many environmental factors as possible, it ultimately leans pretty heavily on whether a teacher thought a kid was just "good" or "very good" at a given trait Still, the 19-year study paints a pretty clear picture: Pro-social behavior matters, even at a young age. And because it can be learned, it's a great "target for prevention or intervention efforts."
The bottom line? We need to do more than just teach kids information. We need to invest in teaching them how to relate to others and how to handle the things they're feeling inside.
Ignoring social skills in our curricula could have huge ramifications for our kids down the road

For full details on the study, you can read it in its entirety in the American Journal of Public Health.

Planning Strategically

You might have been with us part way through last year when the Wellington Kindergarten Association merged with the Rimutaka Kindergarten association- forming a new Association 'He Whānau Manaaki o Tararua Free Kindergarten Assn Inc'. You might more commonly see it as He Whānau Manaaki Kindergartens.The name was gifted to the association  by Sir Tamati and Lady Reedy- highly respected educationalists and important participants in the writing of our national early childhood curriculum "Te Whāriki" which is world renowned.  The name  means 'The caring family of Tararua'  and is  relevant to both associations.

Kindergarten today.

Here's some info about Kindergarten in the 21st century... filmed before we moved from 'Wellington Kindergarten' association to the larger 'Whānau Manaaki Kindergartens". Kindergartens have come a long way in the over 100 years that they have been the flagship for quality, affordable and accessible early childhood education in the area........

Quality learning.....

What is learning in the 20th Century?